Cheat's Ice Cream

First off - a disclaimer: This is not a how-to blog. I really don't know enough about anything to even pretend that anyone can read this and learn how to cook or sew or knit the Taj Mahal out of tofu. But where I can I will try to include the instructions and recipes I use just so that you can see how very very easy it all is.

I'm not organic, or GM free, vegan, freegan, vogon or vulcan. When cooking, my agenda is to make tasty stuff, as easily - and often as cheaply - as possible. If I can do it, anyone can.

Most of what I do comes from the interwebs - recipes, discussion forums etc - so it seems only fair that I should post the results back through the internet pipes.

Yesterday's Blackberry Ripple No Churn Cheaty Cheat Cheats Ice Cream is a pretty good example to start with.

What you put in:

1 big pot double cream (500ml? 568ml? Whatever the big ones are)

1 tin condensed milk (yup, this is aaall class)

2 tsps vanilla extract

A handful of blackberries (I've still got a big bag of frozen ones I picked last autumn; how Tom and Barbara is that?)

Three or four big spoons of golden caster sugar

A slug of Creme de Cassis (optional, but who doesn't have Cassis? Nobody I know, that's for sure)

What you do with it:

Stick the blackberries in a small pan along with the sugar, cassis, and a drop of water just to help it cook down. Bring to the boil, then simmer away for 3 or 4 minutes or until you get bored. It should go to a squishy, jammy sort of syrup.

Allow the syrup and fruit to cool, then whizz it up with a blender. Squish it all through a sieve to get rid of the pips.

Restrain yourself from eating all the fruity sugary goodness and put it in the fridge out of harm's way.

Whisk up the cream until it forms 'soft peaks'. I define this as that moment just after you have given up all hope of it ever thickening at all but just before the ohmygodivecreatedanabomination moment when it goes solid.

Chuck in the condensed milk and vanilla extract and whisk till the whole lot forms those soft peaks again. Get someone else to throw away the condensed milk tin while you are whisking so that you don't become distracted by trying to lick it.

Pour the whole billowing loveliness into an ice cream tub. Drizzle over the fruity goo and use a spatula or knife to swirl it through. Freeze overnight.

What you get out

Oh dear God. This stuff is brilliant. Ice cream purists will throw a blue fit at this sweet, Mr-Whippy style concoction but if you've got a sweet tooth and no concerns about eating 1200 calories per teaspoon, this is for you. It is EPIC. Do note though that this type of ice cream melts much quicker than the proper stuff, so don't take it out of the freezer until just before you need it.