It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicker Snake.

Wicker Snake rises triumphant in front of the BARDIS. There's a sentence I never thought I'd type.

Lemur Lady: Look what I just found in the street! Someone had put it outside their house for the bin men.
Significant Otter: Er....
LL: It's a wicker plant holder in the shape of a SNAKE! I mean, at first I nearly walked past it because I thought it was meant to be some kind of tulip or something but then I went back to look and it's definitely supposed to be a snake. Look, it's got little wooden fangs. Thank goodness I went back to check.
SO: Thank goodness.
LL: I bet you've never seen a wicker plant holder in the shape of an actual snake before, have you?
SO: That is true. I have not.
LL: Can I keep it? It's HORRIBLE.
SO: It is. It is kind of hideous.
LL: I KNOW! It's revolting! I love it!
SO (giving in to the inevitable): Where are you going to put it?
LL: I dunno. I thought maybe the garden. Because I think perhaps the dead plants in it might be diseased so we should probably not have it in the house.
SO: Wow. This gets better.
LL (beaming): Who would throw this kind of thing away? Ssssh, Wicker Snake. You're safe now.

And this, friends, is why our house is full of tat.