Wednesday, 15 January 2014

It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicker Snake.

Wicker Snake rises triumphant in front of the BARDIS. There's a sentence I never thought I'd type.

Lemur Lady: Look what I just found in the street! Someone had put it outside their house for the bin men.
Significant Otter: Er....
LL: It's a wicker plant holder in the shape of a SNAKE! I mean, at first I nearly walked past it because I thought it was meant to be some kind of tulip or something but then I went back to look and it's definitely supposed to be a snake. Look, it's got little wooden fangs. Thank goodness I went back to check.
SO: Thank goodness.
LL: I bet you've never seen a wicker plant holder in the shape of an actual snake before, have you?
SO: That is true. I have not.
LL: Can I keep it? It's HORRIBLE.
SO: It is. It is kind of hideous.
LL: I KNOW! It's revolting! I love it!
SO (giving in to the inevitable): Where are you going to put it?
LL: I dunno. I thought maybe the garden. Because I think perhaps the dead plants in it might be diseased so we should probably not have it in the house.
SO: Wow. This gets better.
LL (beaming): Who would throw this kind of thing away? Ssssh, Wicker Snake. You're safe now.

And this, friends, is why our house is full of tat.


  1. We had two plant holders made from that wickery stuff. They were shaped like ducks. They were quite hideous, but Snake wins hands down.
    It might terrify the birds in your garden.
    Or maybe they will like it - maybe you should fill it with birdseed.
    You are so lucky to find such a wonderful object - I hope you appreciate your good fortune!