Time flies like an arrow...

...fruit flies like a banana.

And apparently I haven't blogged since NOVEMBER! A combination of being very busy, not having anything interesting to say and writer's block, I guess.

I'm not sure I have anything interesting to say now, to be honest, but I'm working on the principle that if I at least get some words down on this blank page it might kickstart my blog-life for 2013.

So.....um....how are you? Good? Excellent. What happened with that matter with the dog and the neighbour's Fiesta? Was it all resolved? And your family? Great Auntie Maud still complaining about that woman with the gammy eye who sits next to her at bingo? Splendid. What have I been up to, you ask? Hmm...

Christmas came and went, as it is wont to do. I tried, as I have the last few years, to buy handmade presents as far as possible. I find that I end up spending less but on fewer, better quality and more meaningful items. It's a great way of both stopping the crazy Christmas spend and at the same time giving presents that you are really proud to be handing over. This years purchases included a gorgeous handmade crayon set from Colour Me Fun, a pretty glass candle holder from Diomo Glass and some smashing cufflinks from Quirkii.

Photos courtesy of Quirkii, Colour Me Fun, Diomo Glass

And now it's the new year! Quite a way in, in fact. Did you make any resolutions? I try not to. Resolutions always seem to be about 'stopping' this or 'giving up' that. Of course we're not going to keep to them, they are self-inflicted punishments and the minute the imaginary schoolteacher that is January disappears over the horizon we'll be back to our old ways. 

So instead of the 'New Year's Resolution', I'm more in favour of the 'Ongoing Non-Calendar-Specific Vague Quest For Betterment and Doing More Stuff'. It's a working title. I'd like to continue growing my business, get into a less stressful place with my day job, be more productive with the time I have, and generally Sort Things Out. I don't have a target date as I would definitely go past it and depress myself; rather I just have a sort of renewed determination to do things better this year. I think, if we are all honest with ourselves, once the diets and the dry Januarys are over, that's all it really comes down to.

What's my resolution for 2013? Carry on being me. Just get better at it.

I am too extremely very busy.

This is a holding message. I am the busiest person in the world at the moment and consequently the worst blogger. Normal service (i.e. sporadic but not completely non-existent) will be resumed as soon as my friends stop all getting married and I stop all being in plays and all going to meetings and all hoovering the sofa (which takes up a great deal of my time due to the fact that my cats have taken the slight increase in ambient temperature in Southern England very seriously and turned into dandelion clocks who can seemingly release a cloud of fluff at will like some sort of defence mechanism, sort of how a lizard sheds its tail when you pull it).

In the meantime, you could do worse than popping over to the slightly-mad-in-a-good-way Fiona T's blog Words From Fiona's Brain for your fix of blogginess. She has recently baked scones AND catalogued her socks. Just make sure you pop back here to calm down when the excitement has become too much for you.

If you're in need of a quicker hit of internet smack, here is a picture of Doug being a retard.

We worry, but the vet says he's normal.

Or if you're really bored you could even go and buy something over at the Lemur Lady shop. Like this cute mirror with frogs on....

Two of these are princes. The others haven't been kissed yet.

Back soon (ish).

CRAFTfest, this week!

Tomorrow sees the start of CRAFTfest, an online 'virtual craft extravaganza' run by the lovely people behind Creative Connections. From 10th - 18th March, from the comfort of your own home, you will be able to browse over 100 craft 'stalls', showing off a huge variety of the crafting talent out there. No hanging around in draughty village halls or drinking tea from a polystyrene cup in a rainy car park (although I have to admit to secretly liking the 'chip van' tea experience, but that's another story), you can shop with the click of a mouse and buy directly from the crafters themselves.

In case I haven't whet your appetite yet, here's my pick of some of the lovely goodies on offer - click on the shop's name to check out their stall.

Altered Era has some drool-worthy steampunk and Victorian-inspired jewellery. I especially love this bracelet made from old typewriter keys:

This adorable bear may look like he belonged to your grandmother, but in fact he is brand new and painstakingly created by Northfield Primitives, who makes dolls and animals inspired by toys of yesteryear. This chap even stands on vintage Meccano wheels!

I've admired the lovely applique work of MinXtures for a while now. Her PE bags are ostensibly for children, but if I was ever to need a gym bag (like, if the only survivors in a post-apocalyptic world were the ones who could attain a certain level on the stair-climbing machine), I would so end up with this sad-koala. MinXtures also makes fabulous Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario cushions and bedcovers, so you can recreate the console wars of the 1990's in the comfort of your own bedroom.

All these and many many more (including Lemur Lady's Awesome Emporium) will be on display from tomorrow at CRAFTfest. Do pop along and have a gander - when else do you get the chance to visit a craft fair without changing out of your pyjamas? Well, without getting arrested or sectioned, anyway.

What's yellow and black and can't reach the pedal?*

I'm on the right. With the machine that is apparently glowing like it came out of the TARDIS

As should be fairly obvious by now, I enjoy sewing. It is among my top five favourite activities. The others shift according to mood, but currently include eating cheese, drinking Manhattans, and watching the Argos Christmas advert with the blue aliens. However there is no getting away from the fact that machine sewing (much like watching the Argos advert), is generally a solitary activity. The common sewist (I know the word is 'sewer', but I can't get past the effluent connotations), is typically to be found alone, hunched over in the glow of their machine, swearing quietly.

The crafts of knitting, crocheting and even embroidery are enjoying somewhat of a renaissance currently, due partly to their portability to and from clubs and knitting circles and the crucial realisation that these get-togethers can take place in pubs. Wine plus handcrafting may result in the odd dropped stitch, but driving your Bernina when under the influence can be a great deal more painful.

So imagine my joy when, this weekend, I found myself part of a rather lovely sociable get together of machine sewists. It can be done!

My local theatre group, the South London Theatre, is about to put on its annual pantomime. As usual, the pantomime involves an inordinate amount of small children (a concept I find almost as horrid as the idea of pantomime itself). And, as society dictates, small children have to be dressed when on stage - in this case in a variety of medieval peasant garb. Tunics a'plenty.

After years of solitary and frantic sewing every winter, someone had the bright idea this year to gather together all the people who could drive a machine in one place for an afternoon and wrestle with mounds of Lincoln Green material whilst enjoying tea, chat, and swapping gossip.

Granted, the hum of the sewing machines can reach a rather deafening level when you get all four of them going at once, and the vibration is enough to require all pincushions to be sturdily anchored to the centre of the table, but on the whole we were the happiest little pantomime-costume sweatshop you ever did see.

Everyone was fairly experienced, but we also all went away having learned at least one or two tips and tricks from our fellow machinists. I learned that you can sew over pins, if you do it carefully enough, which will save me, I have calculated, 21.2567675 days per year unpinning as I go along. Caroline learned how to mitre ribbon (but only in one direction - we'll have you an ambi-mitreer before long, Caroline), and in turn taught us all that it is possible to use one's knee to press the pedal if there is not enough room on the table for your machine and you have to put it on a chair. We all learned that we have even larger capacities for tea-drinking and mince-pie-eating than we thought possible.

We have all agreed that we had such a lovely time we will regroup in the new year, each choosing one pattern to work on and taking advantage of the moral support, tea and companionship to move on to even greater crafting heights. I might even work out how to get a hem straight.

How about you, fellow crafters? Have you got involved in any 'Crafting Bees' yet? If not, what are you waiting for? You just need some like-minded friends, and in the case of machine-sewing, someone with a sturdy table and understanding neighbours. Oh, and of course your group needs a name. You can't have 'Make It Sew', though. That's taken.

*A sewing bee! I'll get my coat.

Oh, hai Internets! Long time no blog.

In my mind, this is what the ice sculpture will look like.

So today I remembered I have a blog, and that it's been a metric eon since I updated it.

Well, lots of things have been happening in the world since we last spoke. Ice ages have come and gone. Huge gangs of disaffected yoof attempted to set fire to London in pursuit of new trainers. I finally finished watching every single episode of The X Files (can I get a 'hell yeah'), and Lemur Lady's Awesome Emporium has been going from strength to strength.

Turns out people seem to like my goodies, so I have been spending more and more time sitting, tongue-out-for-balance, at my sewing machine, batting away the cats and creating new items of awesomeness for all my lovely customers.

Oh yeah, and I'm getting married next month. That'll be where all my time's gone, then.

The wonderful thing about a wedding, to a crafty sort of a badger like me, is that the DIY possibilities are endless. The bad thing is that, well, the DIY possibilities are endless.

So far the handmade bunting has gone out of the window, figuratively speaking. 150feet of the stuff has been duly purchased from an ebay crafter with much more time on her hands than me. Paper chains, ditto. Handmade 'Woo Yay' flags (a la Offbeat Bride), origami bouquets, handsewn garter - all consigned to 'good idea at the time' pile.

On the other hand, I've been keepin' it crafty. My flowers and hair thingy (this is the official term), are from Etsy, my cake toppers and place cards were specially made by Folksy sellers, and my dress is being run up as we speak by my wonderfully talented mum (from whom I learnt all I know. Including the bad habits).

But I do still have my own to-do list. It's more modest than it originally was, but with just over 6 weeks to go it's still bringing me out in cold sweats. Once I've got the four bridesmaid's boleros cut and sewn (seriously, have you seen how much these things cost in the shops? How hard can it be?), I've just got 100 muslin teabag favours and boxes to create and label, a TARDIS shaped card box to make and a three tier cake to bake and ice the night before. All while keeping the Lemur Lady stuff ticking over. Simples.

Excuse me. I just have to go and run around in a panic for a minute.

*returns*

Ah, that's better.

Since some of the details are still secret-squirrel, I will be posting pictures, links, and thanks to all the wonderful and creative crafters who have contributed to the Wedding Of The Century once the day is over and I have sobered up and picked the confetti out of my hair.

(Incidentally, the best thing about the whole wedding stuff so far has been having cause to say "Of course, the dinosaur ice sculpture will need to arrive through the side doors during the table changearound". Brilliant.)